The Two People and the Room

Lust was in the room waiting. He could feel that someone was trying to get rid of him but he did not want to leave. He had been around for a while and thought it was rude for this person to attempt to throw him out when he had been entertaining Lust for so long. "He has kept me around quite a while now and suddenly thinks he can just get rid of me?" He thought to himself. Lust was enjoying his time with these people and did not want to go, even though he was feeling a little lonely. He decided to invite his friend Temptation to the room because he was always fun. A little hot and cold though, kind of on and off. But tonight he knew Temptation would be full blown party mode. He was not sure why, he could just feel it. Temptation was hardly one to come to a party alone though..only on his off days. So Temptation brought along Desire. She was beautiful. Long, dark hair and shining eyes. She always had a spark and was always ready for fun. Lust did not feel like the person was trying to get rid of him anymore. Now he felt welcomed. Lust, Temptation and Desire were dancing between the two people in the room. They were great dancers and knew how to get others involved in the dances. Desire spun around and around and her hair caressed both people. It was while she was dancing that she remembered her best friend was going to be at the party also and must be close now. Passion and Desire had been friends forever. They were almost inseparable, showing up together everywhere. Passion entered the room just as Desire was thinking of her. Passion and Temptation began to dance. Passion, Desire, Temptation and Lust saw each other often but it was always exciting being around each other. They danced into the night.

The friends stayed the night but began to realize who was going to show up soon. They did not like them. Guilt knocked on the door first. He walked in with authority, and trust me, he was a big guy and his presence was very noticeable. He always had a stern face and a straight back and walked like he had business to take care of...and he usually did. Passion and Desire left together to go find another party; that was their job and it was never finished. Temptation saw that Guilt wanted alone time with the people and so he ran out the door. Lust stayed a while just to see what happened. Guilt looked the people in the eyes. It was at that moment that Shame came creeping in the room. He is a real creeper that Shame. He went and sat in bewteen the two people. Guilt and Shame knew each other very well but really were not very fun. They called their friend Regret to come into the room to meet these people, but Regret said he had met them many times before. It could hardly be called a party with these three around but they always stayed longer than the first party guests. And they really always wore out their welcome. They just sat with the people. Staring into their eyes. Eating away at their souls.

After a while they started to get uncomfortable. Guilt really wanted to stick around because he loved making the people feel terrible (which explains his friendship with Regret). He searched the room for the source of this strange feeling. He found her stashed under a pile of clothes. He wanted to make her stay there but even when people try to keep her away she knows how to get back through. It was Love. Stuffed under dirty clothes, hidden and dirty. But she got up and brushed herself off. She really was lovely. Even bruised like she was, there was something soft and refreshing about her. Maybe it was the twinkle in her eyes or the way her mouth was always curved at the corners. Or even the way she walked, like she was ready to leap and run to a person to hug and comfort them at any moment. She saw Shame sitting there with a tight hold on both people and told him gently that it was time to leave. He quickly creeped right out the window, hoping to find where Passion had gone to next. Love spoke to Guilt in a sweet voice and said, "You do not belong here. Please leave." Guilt was not ready to go yet and demanded a good reason. "Just because you are here, Love, does not mean I have to go." Very true. Sometimes Guilt and Love stayed in the same room for a very long time, no matter how uncomfortable they were with each other. Love knew that someone else was there. He was sometimes very hard to find, but he was there. She called his name and knew that the people had a difficult time with him so they had probably pushed him away somewhere. It was not like they didn't like him. They really enjoyed the feelings he brought. He was just very difficult and hard to deal with and accept. But there he was, standing in the doorway waiting to be invited in by the people. They were so tired of Guilt by then that they gladly called him over. It was Forgiveness and he wasted no time in kicking Guilt out of the room.Repentance was with Forgiveness but she was so much kinder than Regret. She was also a close friend of Love's. As Repentance, Forgiveness and Love gathered around the two people, they decided to leave the room and not enter again. They realized now what a bad idea it had been to go in there when Lust had begged them. They would not listen to Lust again. They decided to hold Love's hands as she walked them through to the other side of the house, where they had been meaning to go the whole time. Purity had been left behind but Forgiveness got her all caught up with the crew, and together they made it to the big day. The day Lust had convinced them was not important. But they finally made it.

And Marriage happily welcomed them into his room.

Just Something I Write to ALL my friends.........

You make my tummy rumble

No that isn't what I mean

I mean butterflies

No...more intense...draggonflies



I just mean I'm empty when you aren't here

No...that's always

I'm not always empty

Or..Am I?



Wonder what it would feel like to have you around

I'll just wonder for now

Soon we'll be found

You know what that's from?



I know you do

It's something we quote to each other

Everything she sings

Made for each other

Sweetz I miss you

Baby I gotta see you

I hate love

And loving

And caring

But here I am

Wishing I could be sharing

My life

With you

Is there more I can say

Yes plenty

But then you'll think you're special

...Psh I treat everyone this way!

The Chase

It's a dark room
With the door closed
Open the door
Run
Faster
There is no time to waste

If you stop...................

Don't think about it
RUN
Let the tears fall
There is no time to dry them
They don't matter
Everyone knew of your sadness anyway

Out of breath already?
Out of time
Out of space
Between
Better get up
NO don't sit
No time to rest

You could not beat it
And now the door is beginning to shut
And you even made it out of the room
If only for a while
For a breath of fresh air
But you couldn't make it

It's a dark room
With the door closed.

Dear Mom...

You
Want me to be
You
I understand your desire
For me to desire
God
But you condemn
Me
You
Judge
Me
With your words and actions
Tell me I can only be loved
If I act like
You
It hurts
When you cannot accept me
The way I am
I am this way
But
You would not understand
If I told you about my struggles
You
Would only condemn
How can I please you?
Only if I desire God
Only if
Everyone
Around me can see that
I desire God
When I mess up
You are ashamed
Because
Everyone
Cannot see that I desire God
I wish I could tell you
What I am going through
What I have gone through
What I have done
And I want to tell you
That what Satan is whispering in my ear
Is what you tell me every chance
You get
I have to be perfect
I have to
THINK
Only the right things
SAY
Only the right things
DO
Only the right things
I am not allowed to
Struggle
HURT
FAIL
You want me to prove
That I love God
Is that not condemning?
Judgement?
I
Do love God
But what if
I didn't?
You would not love me
The same
You would forever be
Shoving
Words down my throat
Even when I tell you
I desire to follow God
You
Shove words
Down my throat
What can I do to
Show you
Prove to you
The desires of my heart?
Should I really have to?
Is that required of me?
"Please your mother."
"Prove to your mother
You love me."
I never read that
In the Bible
Jesus is telling me
There is no condemnation
For those
Who are in
Christ.
I
Lost my way
For a while
And I am trying
Striving
To get back
But you cannot know
Because you would not
Understand.
I
hurt
so
much
But just because
I failed
And you did not
You would not
Understand
My struggles
Sure
You love me
If I have to prove
My love for God
For you
Could you not prove
Your
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
For me?

Ouch

I never really thought it would come to this
I have been forgotten
Thrown aside
Given up on
Left out
And this whole time I remembered you.
To me our friendship was deeper, we grew up together
I've known you forever
Always
Friends
But see I know that relationships ruin everything
As soon as she came along I was gone
Out of your eyes
Because she didn't like us being
Friends.
Did she not think about the fact that I've ALWAYS known you?
Forever
Friends.
I have lost so many friendships because of those terrible words...
Dating, Commitment, Marriage.
One, two, three, there I go
Pushed away
One: we were even married as kids, best friends when we were little
We did it all together, even eating the dog food
Cause the cat food was too salty.
You played superman and you saved me
But now you are getting married
and it slipped your mind to invite me...I see.
Friends.
Two: We got closer and closer as we got older
We were even in the same clique at camp
Until she came along, the little tramp
And decided what we had was unacceptable...
Friends
And you agreed and now we don't speak.
And you let her get away with so much
Against me
But because of that word
Relationship
You were of course supporting her
And I was not only out money...I was out a friend.
Three: You were my brother. You meant more to me than I can explain in words.
Bear rug, alphabet pillow, these are memories that never get old
I weep at the thought of losing you
I weep at the thought of what you've done, too
I weep because you have hurt so many
I weep because you don't care any
And I loved you so much but that doesn't matter
My own brother listened to my heart shatter
You helped cause it you know, but that isn't the point,
The point is you've forgotten me now
Friends no longer
No more
Never again
You have a new life
And put me aside
Because growing up together
Nineteen years together
Really is not a big deal at all.

Thanks for the nineteen years.
I will remember them enough for us all.
Because I know you have more important things to take care of now
More important people
New lives
But I will think of you often
Because our friendship was dear to me

But I get it...
Growing up together was no big deal
Nineteen years but I shouldn't feel
Hurt.





























































*You may think by this that I have some pent up bitterness issues. You may be right lol. But enjoy it anyways I'm just letting it out on paper/blog. haha And one, two and three will probably never read this.*

Lovely Little Angel

Lovely little angel sits on the edge
Elbows on her knees and halo on her head.

Dreams of laughter and rainbows
Smiles and clouds
Hatred and tears are nowhere to be found.

Lovely little angel crosses her legs
Fists under her chin and she begins to beg:

Let this world become brighter
Everything that overshadows become lighter
Take away the burdens and the problems

Lovely little angel sheds a sad tear
Wipes it away with her finger and then she hears

Sweet angel of mine let go of your sorrow
Everything will be fine, just wait for tomorrow
Your heart is pure, your compassion is real
Go watch over my flock
Until the day I appear

Just the way this world works

Yeah you thought you had me understood
But then you realized you never even knew
A thing about me
I am more than you could ever be
I am stronger than anyone you've ever seen
I will be greater than you
Can even count to
Don't try to pin me down
I have already risen above
Higher than you can see
Higher than you will ever be
Higher than you were last night with your friends
Think about it again
You still won't get it
You are just like that
Too bad you think so highly of yourself
I hate for you to be disappointed so often
When you realize nothing you will ever do
Is anything close to what I have already done
And accomplished
And you cry tears of frustration
Because all you want is for me to be wrong
Just once
But never
Ever
Will that ever come true for you
That's just the way this world works
Me on top and you not even a dot
On the map
I am almost sorry that you are nothing
Then again I made it that way
When I stole everyone's attention
And all I had to do was blink
Sorry
But you lost
Sorry
But it never gets better
Too bad you couldn't get it right
Not like anyone gave you a chance
But that's just the way this world works
I am loved and you are not known
Hey think of it this way
No pressure
For you to be anything good
Since you will never be anything at all
That's just the way this world works
Me never failing and you never even given the option to stand or fall





*Erica is not "me or I in this!"

Alone

Dang, I wrote a lot when I was 14 (I have more from then to post...)

Alone in the darkness, I sit with fear,
Alone in the darkness, no one is here.
The void that fills my lonely soul,
Came, it seems, a thousand years ago.
There's no one here, there is no hope.
There's no one here to help me cope.
But now the light through my window shines,
It seems to know the thoughts of my mind,
It's bright rays earn their pay,
It's bright rays seem to say,
"With God everything is possible, you'll see,
With God, with God, believe you me!"
And now for me it's God as my witness,
God alone, in health and in sickness.

Beauty Queen

Again.....14!! And I am not vain...haha

I look like a beauty queen, I know that it is true.
I look like a beauty queen to me and to you.
You say I am conceited, but what do you know?
I am as beautiful as the first falling snow.
I am so beautiful, I know that it is true.
I am so beautiful, and NO one asked you!

If I had two families

I was 14 when I wrote this one also...

If I had two families, my life would be full.
If I had two families, nothing would be dull.
And if my two families lived in Spain and Germany,
I would have two families who were quite foreign to me!
But I only have one family and I will love them just the same
As if I had two families who live in Germany and Spain.


Yeah what a cool teenager I was haha

Small Town Satisfaction

I wrote this when I was 14.

White picket fences all around
Feeling so safe in this peaceful town
I see all the blue shutters and all the blue doors
As I walk down the lanes of Oakwood and Moores
I stop to talk to the Grandmother who sits on her deck
(That’s Mrs. LaMore, she’s from Quebec)
She gets her name from her grandmotherly fashion,
Her home is always open; she has such a people passion
As I walk on I hear the kids singing
It’s time to go home, it’s turning to evening
I enter my house with such satisfaction
For the place that I live and it’s small-town attraction.

Sad Day

RIP Heath Ledger

Old stuffs

I went through my portfolio recently and found a ton of writings that I would like to post here (the previous 2 or 3 are some I found in there). They are pretty old and some of them I wrote when I was probably ten! So...give me time...and I am going to post them. Enjoy!

Remember, this blog is really just so I can share my poems, stories, things like that! I have a few on myspace but I don't want to take up a whole lot of room there and I just decided it would be fun to have people acutally read these things I write. So...if you hate them...I don't care. You don't need to tell me :-) This is just for fun. Thanks!

Again...another old one

Here I am again.
Alone again.
Sitting here with nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to see.

There goes my mind again.
I lost it again.
Somewhere deep in thought, it's gone again.

I thought I would be safe
With a man again.
Now I'm alone again.

And still life goes on,
Dragging me through,
Going on alone again.

Almost Loved You

Almost Loved You

I almost loved you
What more can I say?
That feeling came
And quickly went away.

The way you looked at me
I knew something was not right.
Then I understood when I saw her,
The "someone else" in your sight.

And what's left is hate

I wrote this during the first semester of my freshman year I believe. It's a bit exaggerated, so I am not that much of a drama queen :-) Enjoy, men!


What’s Left Is Hate
I am a feminist. I hate men. I wish they didn’t exist and women would live peacefully with gentlemen. The same, you say? Well you’re wrong. Totally different species. Men only deserve to die for they are murderers. They have slaughtered my innocence, broken my heart, beaten my self-esteem and taken my soul to hell and back. Men. That very word makes me shudder. Liars, cheaters, back-stabbers. It’s hard for me to believe I ever loved one and had such strong feelings for others. I gave myself away too easily and they tore me to pieces like dogs. I was only meat to them, those heartless, disgusting creatures. My heart, soul, and mind are broken and exposed. He knew my secrets. My deepest, darkest secrets and he told the world. They are thieves, breaking through our safety walls and stealing everything within us. And all they leave us with is hate. Oh young girl, flee from their evil eyes. You are naïve and they smell your fear and uncertainty. They are ready to prey on you but you must run. Please guard your walls closely. Do not let them in. They will rob you of everything. And what’s left is hate.

Sex AKA Lauren Rapp

Sex
Drives us to do awful things
Drives us to drive others away
Drives us to live
Drives us to strive
Drives us to love
Drives us to lie
It drives me to you when I desire
But drives you away when I am too tired
Lauren my love please understand
I am only human but I am no man
Give me your love, give me your money
I don't want your sex,
I'm no lesbian, honey



(Ok, this one is not for real...obviously...but we were bored one day because of the snowstorm and I wrote this for Lauren.)