"Dear John" letter

-His name is not John but I loved him. He was never really mine but I lost him. He may have already forgotten me but I will never forget. He may have really loved me, but I will never know.- This was written while trying to avoid my last research paper:-)

Ah, John how have you been
Spendid I'm sure
You poor lost soul
Without me you must be bored

I like to pretend you miss me every second
You picture my face when you close your eyes
You consider yourself horribly torn
Without me by your side

Ah, John you silly boy
You asked me to leave
Not with words
But your actions were enough

I sit here and tell myself I was never sad
That it ended at all
I like to believe it was never painful
Like it was not love in the first place

Ah, John did you love me
Honestly, did you?
I act like I am positive
That you never did

I have my doubts
I entertain all sorts of ideas
He loved me
He loved me not

Ah, John you creature of habit
Or just, you creature
You could have proved your "love"
If in fact it existed

I wonder to myself
Is that really love?
If it must be proven
Is it love?

Ah, John I could have just trusted
How funny the idea of trust
Believing everything you said
Without really knowing your inner thoughts

Well farewell my dignity
Because I feel I wronged you
And I am admitting it
But not to you

Ah, John I'll tell everyone else
But I will not inform you
I constantly put you down
And blamed everything on you

I still know in my heart
That you could have done more
I wanted so badly
For you to do more

Ah, John I wish you had
Made a little effort
But it's done and over
And I am letting it all go

I did love you
Maybe you did love me
I can pretend whatever I want about what we had
But I cannot pretend what we are now: finished

Ah John, I am saying goodbye
We are done and over
I am letting you go
Ah John, adios :-)