West Nyack Car Wash

This is my farewell to the many all-nighters I have pulled at Dunkin Donuts. There is a sign I have become accustomed to stare at while procrastinating that is next to my beloved Dunkin Donuts. Four long years....this was written while attempting to write my last research paper as a Nyack College student.


Dear sign, so bright you shine
Will I remember your curvy letters
Shall I forget the times we've shared
I've spent countless nights with you
We've spent years together staying up late

I take a break, I look out the window
I see you are always there
Drawing attention with your red white and blue
Are you attempting patriotism or did you even know
How easily I am distracted by your lack of beauty
You have no pizzazz
WHY do you distract
Me so?

I gaze at you
I admire your resiliance
You are always on
Always working
Reminding me again that I am slacking

Still I decide to admire you
Instead of turn back to this
Steady stream of homework

But

Soon we shall part
How horribly sad and heartbreaking
I hate to say it but
I'm leaving you
Seeing you
No more
I look upon you with respect
For working so hard

You contiunally ask people
To join you
You desire clean cars
You do your job well
During the day I see a lot there
Cars are drawn to you while the sun is up
Just as I am drawn to you when the moon shows it's love

Now I have successfully avoided this paper
And you have been a successful advertisement
For the West Nyack Car Wash.
Good-bye, adios, you will be missed my hardworking distraction.

He told me I was worth it...

Written during the PSF retreat where God was revealing Himself to me every minute! This was written during the hour solo time/the time to find something to take with us and something to leave. Sitting in front of a large statue of St. Anthony titled, "Anthony Pray For Us"

I am cleansed
I am purified
I am eternally grateful.

I've been redeemed
By your blood

I've been washed
With your love

You were beaten, mocked and murdered
You were tortured and crucified
You suffered for ME
So I can be FREE

-And you told me I was worth it-

Lord, you are...

Written during the PSF retreat where God was revealing Himself to me every minute! This was during the 7 hour solo time...dang. I'm not sure if I'm done with this one so I didn't put a period.

Take me in your arms, never let me go
I want to be with you always
I want your righteousness to flow
Onto me, over me, to clothe me.

You are Saviour, Healer, Coming King
You are the Creator of everything
You are the Alpha and Omega
The beginning and end
You are Jehovah Jirah
You are my friend

You are the Redeemer
You are the Sacrificial Lamb
You are Abba Father
You hold my heart in your hands
You are the Protector
You are the Prince of Peace
You are God Almighty
You love endlessly

True Forgiveness

How I'm lost
How I'm found
Jesus Christ
Laid his life down

Still I falter
Still I fail
Every time I do
I think about each nail

That pierced Him.

My God, my King,
How have you forgiven me?

The dirty sinner that I am
You love me eternally
You reached out your hand
Told me I can be free

My God, my King
Thank you for forgiving me.

One year

RIP Heath Ledger

Deliverance

Behind my mask the misery dwells
Only sometimes seeping through the cracks
When I attempt a smile
And the plaster breaks
The mask covers the hideousness that lies behind
Smothering me
Suffocating me until I can no longer breathe
The air from my lungs is trying so hard to find a path
To escape
It hurts
to

breathe

Is it really worth the effort
After all the labor for one breath
I now suffer through another
I ponder the new thought
Of giving in
But force it away as I
Force another breath
Another smile
I can feel the mask cracking
Around my lips
An idea has often floated around my
Troubled mind
Break through the mask
Let it go
Take it off
Show yourself
Even the hideousness that
Hides
Smile freely
But the mask is now cemented firmly
Refusing to break
It was then you saw me
Struggling
You came to me
You broke me completely
All so I could be free
Of that affectation
At first, the shattered mask left pieces behind
Left patches of the old
People called out names
Hypocrite
Then you took my face in your hands
Washed it clean
Scrubbed away the broken pieces from that
Dirty Mask

Gone

I smiled

Nothing broke
I exhaled
The breath danced through every part of me
I spoke
Words of praise escaped my joyful lips
I opened my eyes
And saw you standing there
My heart stopped
Tears formed in my eyes
My stomach was turning
For you were wearing that very mask
You had liberated me from
You took it upon yourself
To deliver me from burning

-fake-empty-lie-

You are not real
Do not keep lying to me
I hate your words
I know you say the same beautiful things
To many others
At least another
Why do you torture me?
You know my weak heart
Beats faster when you say
I love you
WHY must you lie
PLEASE just stop telling me
Things I know are not real
I have never understood
Your reasons
Why you talk to me
Sometimes, anyways
We are far away
You pretend to care so much
Why?
I dream about you at night
Wait...that is not the same man
The one in my dream holds me tight
He loves me so much
He does not lie
To me
Or anyone
When he says I am the only one
He means it
I believe it
He is more real
Than you
And he is only a dream.

No but really it's fine
I don't need truth
I don't need love
I don't need the hope
Of having that stated above
Every girl loves the empty words
Every girls loves to hear
I love you
And know they are just
words
So maybe I should thank you
For fulfilling that need
And helping me know
What it is like to
Hurt
And what it is like to
Miss you
Love you
Care for you
And knowing that you care for me
and her
and her
and who else?
So is that really caring
That is not love.
Let me back up
You are going to begin
Shouting my faux pas
So I admit now
I do not know what love is
Or how to love fully
But I understand
What love is not.